You are My Sunshine
It's been one entire year since I've seen my Pop-Pop. Today is the anniversary of his death. I kept wanting to say something about it, but then I'd feel awkward. I thought people would be upset with me for caring so much, for still being upset, almost as if I didn't have a reason to be sad. I'm not sad that he's gone - I feel happy that he's not how he was when he was sick and that he's able to be with me all the time. Sometimes, though, it's hard to feel him with me. I just miss him. It's a constant ache. It rained this entire week, just like the week he died. Then on the day we buried him, November 1, it cleared up. My whole sun thing has me looking for sunshine in everything. I needed the sun more than ever today, but it poured and poured and poured. I didn't see the sun today. But it was there. I don't even know what a sun flare is, but I know that it is amazing to me. I found my sun today.
Today was such a hard day. I cried a few times, mostly this morning and a little while ago. I really needed an understanding friend, and he was there. It's the most amazing thing to have someone that's always there for you. I didn't even say anything, but he just knew. I really appreciated that. It made such a difference today. Thank you.
I'm off to bed. Hopefully I can get up in the morning. I don't seem to want to do that anymore.
yesterday | | tomorrow
